4. For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why. (8 Marks)
When rewriting my post for question #2, I completely restructured the content to make sure that it was written in a correct F-pattern and also written in plain language. These are 6 of the modifications that went into that restructuring, along with explanations and justifications:
1 – I rewrote the article in an active voice instead of a passive one. This is essential to plain language writing as it renders sentences more direct/clear for readers. An example of this is how I changed this sentence:
“The charities will be chosen by the public to provide a stronger sense of community with our supporters and help us towards a better future.”
To this:
“We donate a large portion of profits to a charity chosen by our supporters (YOU) at the end of each month.”
2 – I added two links to my website at the top and bottom of the post respectively. The top link is for those who have found the post but simply want to shop the site and the bottom one is for those who have read the post and want to see the site afterwards. This speaks directly to plain language writing as it allows readers to have easy access to exactly what they need, when they need it, fulfilling their purpose.
3 – I rewrote my “staying green/sustainable” section into a bulleted list. I did this because the use of lists is important to F-pattern writing. They allow for paragraphs to be shortened and are easier on readers’ eyes and minds. Reading a long paragraph that states facts is much less appealing than an organized list that does the same!
4 – I included a visual element in my last section of the post. The image I used portrays themes of teamwork and community. I included this image as visuals are great for F-pattern writing. The image is placed in a way that makes the copy it is presented with seem less daunting to readers. It breaks up the paragraph and provides an extra element to for the readers to associate with the message.
5 – I rewrote the post with positive language rather than negative. This included shortening sentences, making sure that the messages were clear and keeping a positive tone throughout all messaging. This is important as positive language is much more likely to stick with readers. It is proven to be more clear and persuasive than negative writing, which can provide readers with a sense of discomfort or resistance.
6 – I avoided using long, difficult-to-understand wording and made sure that my post was at a 7th-grade reading level. Long vocabulary words such as “sporadically” were removed from my original post as they may not be understood by everyone accessing the site. I used the Hemingway app to ensure that my post was at the correct reading level.
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