3. For question #2, please outline in detail how your new post addressed the three main objectives as discussed in class. Please outline in detail for each. (9 Marks)
To start, I am going to outline the three main objectives of plain language as discussed in class. These objectives dictate whether a website is written in plain language or not based on how easily a site’s viewer can achieve them. They are as follows:
- The viewer can find what they need.
- They can understand it.
- They can use it to fulfill their purpose.
1 – Making sure the viewer can find what they need
My rewritten F-pattern introduction page addresses the first objective in multiple ways. This objective is to make sure that the viewer can find what they need. In this case, they need basic information about my business and the core values that stand behind it. Because of this, I included straightforward, concise information in the first section (Who we are) such as “We provide quality clothing at low prices to help those looking to boost their style”! This sentence uses commonly used words and gives viewers exactly what they are looking for, no more, no less.
I also added a link to the site’s web store at the top of the introduction to make sure that viewers looking to shop rather than read can access the store directly. This is beneficial when it comes to making sure consumers can access what they need as it prevents them from having to scroll and eventually exit the page as they cannot find what they are searching for. People typically spend less than 15 seconds on a site before deciding if they will engage with a page.
The second and third sections of my introduction also speak to the first objective, ensuring that the information they present is clear and actionable. The “What we do” section uses sentences written very concisely to deliver a message to viewers about ThriftedThreads’ charity incentive. There is also another link to the web store at the bottom of the introduction, ensuring that those interested in shopping after reading the article can immediately access the site.
2 – Making sure that the viewers can understand what they have read
The language used in my rewritten introduction is extremely refined compared to the original. Long, uncommon words were eliminated and replaced with easy-to-understand content that explains itself very clearly.
For example, copy such as:
“We believe in giving back as much as we can to the community. We plan to stay true to our roots and donate a large portion of profits to charity at the end of each fiscal month. The charities will be chosen by the public to provide a stronger sense of community with our supporters and help us towards a better future. ThriftedThreads provides full clarity to their followers. We release our clothing sporadically and aim to reach a new person with every piece sold. After purchasing an item, buyers will receive an email asking them to provide a vote for which one of three charities they want their money donated. The charity with the most amount of votes at the end of each month will receive a public donation from our profits!”
Is replaced by something simpler:
“ThriftedThreads believes in giving back to the community as much as possible!
We donate a large portion of profits to a charity chosen by our supporters (YOU) at the end of each month.
After purchasing an item, buyers will receive an email asking them to vote for one of three charities they want their money donated to.
The charity with the highest number of votes at the end of each month will receive a public donation from our profits!”
This allows the information being relayed to be much more understandable to readers as it is more direct and a lot shorter than the original. They now have everything they need to know about the charity work done by ThriftedThreads and do not have to read a lengthy paragraph to gain this understanding.
To add, my second section of the new introduction page speaks to objective #2 as it informs viewers about the benefits of sustainability using plain language. They can understand exactly why ThriftedThreads does what it does while avoiding excess information that may steer them away due to boredom. The section stays short and uses a bulleted list to keep viewers’ attention while still letting them know how important sustainability is in the fashion industry.
The article is also marked as a Grade 7 reading level by the Hemingway app, which ensures its clarity for the typical viewer.
3 – Making sure that viewers can use it to fulfill their purpose.
The rewritten introduction page ensures that every person reading the article can fulfill their needs accordingly. For example, those looking to shop have access to a link at the top of the article in case they do not want to read and one at the bottom in case they do. Those whose purpose is to become more educated about the brand are also able to do this easily as the information presented in the article is written in a clear, concise way. This information gives them exactly what they need and nothing more, which is essential to plain language writing.
The article is also written in a positive, empowering way that allows the viewers to feel good about what they are reading, which can fulfill a deeper purpose they may have. Using this type of copy makes sure that the reader is not turned away by an article, but rather pulled in.
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